You are smart to be planning for his life after school! When school no longer provides the routine, some other regular schedule needs to be developed to provide the security of structure. First, we must make sure each person is well prepared to assume the roles and responsibilities of adulthood to the fullest of their capability by maintaining high expectations - especially for social behavior.

At the Denver Adult Down Syndrome Clinic we see many young adults who have few activities and many idle hours. This often leads to chronic boredom and a sense of helplessness that can spiral down into clinical depression. Many maladaptive behaviors are attempts to self-stimulate or create some interest (conflict) in an otherwise low stimulation lifestyle. As typical adults, we craft our lives from a variety of activities and interests; this should be no different for someone with a disability. While maintaining a full-time job is beyond the capability of many, having a job and some other activities including classes and volunteer activities that are of interest to the individual can make a much fuller and richer life. Of course there are obstacles - transportation and locating people and organizations willing to make necessary adaptations to accommodate the needs of the person being top on the list.

Other issues to keep in mind include the fact that when any of us stop using a skill, we tend to lose it. (How many of you easily recall the multiplication tables?) Practice keeps skills and abilities strong and allows new ones to be learned more readily. We also know that most people, especially those with intellectual disabilities, function better with a predictable and reliable routine and structure to each day.

My middle school daughter is being overprotected by her aide. She is given excuses that typical kids don’t get because she is cute and sweet.

You should be concerned about this treatment! Before the implementation of IDEA in 1975, the prevailing cultural attitude held that individuals with intellectual disabilities remained perpetual children—somewhere around the age of 5 or 6. (Now the thought is that they remain teenagers, socially and intellectually, which is progress, but not enough.) When our society maintains such low expectations, we fail to provide adequate opportunities for success. It is our fault when we allow behaviors that are childish to continue beyond childhood. Individuals with cognitive disabilities are capable of learning more appropriate social skills throughout life—no matter what their functional capability. Excuses and accommodations that really make our lives as parents and teachers easier are not serving the person we love. Speak to the aide and special education teacher about raising expectations for your daughter’s own well being and success. I am sure she can rise to the level of expectations!

Summary: All of us should be expected to continue growing and developing to our fullest potential throughout our lifespan! Help those in your life with cognitive disabilities have a full and satisfying life. And try it out for yourself as well!